"It’s not that I hate Obama because he’s black. I hate him because he’s half-Irish!"


"Even though I can smell the child labor it took to make this miniature American flag… I’m still not feeling better."

"Even though I can smell the child labor it took to make this miniature American flag… I’m still not feeling better."


"BRO! I WAS TOTALLY GOING TO SCORE WITH THAT CHICK FROM ATO BUT NOW SHE’S BLOWING A JEW IN THE BATHROOM! THANKS OBAMA!"

"BRO! I WAS TOTALLY GOING TO SCORE WITH THAT CHICK FROM ATO BUT NOW SHE’S BLOWING A JEW IN THE BATHROOM! THANKS OBAMA!"

"Why did I bet Deb my best slave that Romney would win?"

"…and… and… and OBAMA DID 9/11!"

"Ugh. From now on I’m going to stop prefacing the racist things I say with ‘I’m sorry if this sounds racist…’"

"How can there be a God AND a Black President?"

"I can’t believe Obama won. The maid is going to have such an attitude tomorrow."